73

That's the number of ceiling tiles in my hospital room. It only took me three weeks to get bored enough to count. I'm keeping so busy here, I don't have time to get bored often. Each day starts at exactly 7:30 am with doctors coming to make rounds. Since I don't like the idea of people creeping up on me while I'm sleeping ( I've seen too many horror flicks) I set an alarm and get up and dressed before they come. This usually works, except for that day when a doctor had come to the hospital to perform a c-section and decided to make rounds a little early. I understood, why go home just to come back a few hours later.But, did she HAVE to do it at 4:30 a.m.? While I found this surprise visit a little disturbing and annoying it did shake up my day. See what I mean about never a dull moment? After the doctors do their rounds the morning festivities begin. I get my morning treats...a vitamin and a ...uh..."poo"pill. I am so favored by the nursing staff that they slip me a second "poo" pill at night. Now, if you asked them I'm sure they would say it was doctor's orders, but I can't verify that information. I think they are trying to cover with that story. I'm sure they would get in trouble if they showed too much favoritism to one patient. After my lovely "treats" I get my blood pressure and temperature taken . This happens 4 times a day. I have been observing my various nurses to see if anyone has unique method to this procedure, but have yet to find one. Then the nurses listen to the baby's heartbeat and strap me down to monitor for contractions. Hearing the heartbeat is awesome, but sometimes the unexpected can happen. One night, while listening to little baby Frank my nurse, my husband, and I'm sure the lady next door were treated to something unexpected, intestinal noises! Now, we've all been there before...your stomach growls or your intestines "creak" utterly embarrassing you because you are sure that everyone around you can hear. Imagine , if you will those sounds being broadcast over a speaker! I'd be lying if I said it wasn't embarrassing, beccause it was...very. One thing for sure it definately was NOT boring! Another fun thing that I get to do each day is order my meals. I order three meals a day from a very impressive looking black menu , which I've memorized. It's all very upscale, please.control your jealousy. Ordering meals is always an adventure.Even though I'm careful to order things that I know have a high probability of tasting okay, sometimes I'm wrong. Twenty-five percent of the time I don't even get what I've ordered. They often leave things off or substitute items. I think the cafeteria staff does that for our best interest. They want to shake things up and break up the monotony of the day. I appreciate the thought, I do , but the last thing you want to mess up is a pregnant lady's food order! One day I ordered green beans. I was trying to be mindful of my nutritional needs. When I opened up the container holding my vitamin rich green beans I was livid to find that it was filled instead with ...apple cobbler! I wanted to call someone and explain to them that my baby needed its green vegetables not this sugary concoction that was in my bowl. But, since I do have quite a bit more time here I didn't' want to rock the boat so I ate the cobbler. But I didn't like it! Okay...I did. How could someone possibly get bored when all this excitement is happening around them day after day? Wednesdays are extra special for me here in the hospital and I can tell the nursing staff thinks they are special too. Wednesdays are shot days. The shot is intended to keep me from going into preterm labor, but I think they have healing properties for everyone. My usual Wednesday nurse can come in looking tired and worn out, but put that shot in her hand and she comes alive! On more than one occasion she has come into my room smiling and dancing! It gets me excited for the shot too. I tell you it is such an uplifting experience that I think we should let all the tired or depressed people in the world to walk around with a syringe full of progesterone. It would do wonders and possibly bring about world peace. Of course, one could say that the more obvious reason for her mood change has nothing to do with the shot itself, but the joy of inflicting pain on another human being. I am not so sure that stabbing people in the bum is the best outlet, but if it can make her happy I'm glad I can be there to help. Nothing is predictable in this crazy rabbit hole. I swear even the clocks are in on the fun. I swear that sometimes the clocks are not just slow ...the go backwards. I will look at the clock and see 3:30, an hour later I'll check again and it's still 3:30! Now I've come up with a few theories for this . 1.I desperately need more practice with analog clocks. 2. My eyes are just terribly weak from the pregnancy. or 3.) Somehow this hospital is stuck in some kind of time warp. I haven't decided which one is more plausible. I'm saving that to do tomorrow. So, as you can see, life in the hospital is exciting and unpredictable and I only have about 1 1/2 months left to enjoy it. For now I will soak up every crazy moment. Here is my plan for the next few weeks...Eat , Pray, Love. I will EAT any chocolate that comes my way. I will PRAY that I stay pregnant and that my family stays safe, and I will LOVE the fact that I ( at least for a little while ) don't have to empty the dishwasher!